I’ve spent most of my life being weird. For a long time, I was frustrated with that fact. I wanted to fit in. It took meeting my husband & having him “love me, just as I am” for me to truly accept myself. Of course, I didn’t like/love/accept myself as I was right away. It took me a bit to get through all of the negativity that I had believed about myself for so long. It took me about 6 years of having thetallone in my life before I had a “breakthrough” to being glad that God made me the way I was. That was quite a few years ago, now, and I never thought that God would decide to gift me with two lovely little girls who are as weird as I am (sometimes more weird than I am!). thetallone, I like to say, passes for normal. When I introduce him to people, he seems normal. That is, until he starts chatting about Star Wars, Star Trek, or any of his other geeky things he loves. I do love that he is actually a geek & I am quite amused that he can pass as normal.
I do feel a little bad for being so thrilled that my girls are weirdoes. It probably shouldn’t make me so happy, since I know how it is to not fit in easily. But, on my days when I just am as strange as can be, it’s nice to be able to look @ them & know that I am not alone in my weirdness. Then theblondeone will as one of her off the wall questions & stay on the same vein for 10 minutes or so, talking about scorpions or how cars work, etc. Or theminione will crawl over to me or the dog or thetallone & just make the weirdest sound or face or play with some random item on the ground. It’s great to not be alone.
It’s easy to feel isolated, alone, secluded. Life & people, especially here in America, keeps pushing you into a box, or away from the crowd. You feel like you are the only one who has cancer, or the only one with a child who has autism, or the only person who can’t seem to lose those last 15 pounds! I think that is one of the reasons that I enjoy the internet so much. It is sometimes much simpler & easier to find the people who think like you, or have been through what you have, or who want to be where you are. In my world, it still takes opening up to the people around me, physically, in order for me to remember that I am not alone. Even if they can’t be right where I am, they can be with me. That’s priceless. I like having my people join me in my weird little world, sometimes most especially when I didn’t even expect them too.